​Tell me your pain like some old bedtime story and I'll be a listener, dwelling on every word like a child. We’ll lay side by side as we talk without minding the ticking clock, I’ll hold you in my arms and keep you safe until you have said every thought and every word you have kept inside of you all this time. You can lay your head on my shoulder while I sing you sad songs that match the loneliness you endure.

For a night, your wounds will be mine to bear and your tears are mine to shed. Let me bleed for you, let me hurt for you because I know you're tired of breaking with no one to share the agony with.

—The Night Of Fireflies

Vinctus

 

My memories are clouded

and my mind not sound

My heart seeks nothing

but the shadows

I need to cower from

 Rapture hangs in the air

like the smell of rain

before the downpour

Both calming and

unnerving

 

There are no rules

I am on edge

Teetering between

oblivion and certitude

knowing I cannot exist

 

Not without your idiosyncrasies

and your contradictions for

You are my peace and my chaos

my spirit forever bound

I am your willing prisoner

There is nothing romantic in the brokenness of relationships, of how it slowly unravels and frays like twine. There is nothing endearing in spiteful words thrown out with bitterness with no other intention but to hurt and maime.

I never said I was perfect. Far from it, I have been first to acknowledge that i do not measure up to your standards. I will not lie to you about it. I will not set myself up with expectations only to fail. 

But it does become difficult to find peace with all the noise when all I want is refuge. Knowing that at the end of it all, my actions, or inaction, are not frowned upon and taken into bad light. 

How can you claim you love someone when all you see in them is evil? Yes, it is evil. To deprive one of warmth and comfort is evil. 

You accuse me of being incapable of forgiveness and yet you fail to hear yourself and your constant attacks and assumptions of infidelity. I hardly have time for myself... let alone other people. Then again... I have heard it all before. It was the same route that Denmark took in his string of attacks so why am I surprised?

The realization is actually an eye-opener. I made the right decision. This is not where I am meant to be. This is not bliss and happiness and contentment. I have lied to myself for far too long.

People don't change... you are just as vicious as you once were. And honestly, I am not surprised.

 

i tried

but it isn't the trying that count

it is the small victories that you count

and they are few and far in between

maybe we are not meant to have someone

maybe others are just wired to be alone

maybe this is my fate

for how could anyone love someone like me

when time is measured by the meter

and time is a luxury I cannot afford

and you are right... 

you deserve so much more

and so I reel from the bitterness of truth

that I am alone in this plight

because to ask you to understand is just beyond you

and hearing the words

If you loved me... you would have...

is just another drop in the proverbial bucket

so maybe people like me are not meant to be loved

because love has conditions even when 

we deny it